Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Infertility
I have two children so you would think the problem of infertility was solved for me. I wish it was. It's actually quite a long story but, to catch you up before I write out the saga, I will start by saying I have had one beautiful boy, adopted a beautiful little girl, and had 8 miscarriages. You think I would be grateful for the two I have right? Wrong. Ok so that's not true I am grateful but still frustrated. I think it is the long, excrutiatingly slow process that has brought me here. Not to mention all the doctors saying I am still "within the normal range" in regards to my miscarriages. That is until the last one. Who would think you'd need to lose EIGHT babies before someone agreed that there is indeed a problem. And the problem... well who knows. I have my theories but the docs seem to differ in opinion or they just listen and nod but don't comment. So I've done my own research, read books, scoured the internet and now... now I think I'm going for ONE MORE TRY. Am I crazy? Probably.
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I don't think you can ever solve the problem of infertility. I truly believe that no matter how many children you have, that ache of not being able to have them when and how you wanted them with ease will always be there. There is something wholly unfair about it all... But you are not crazy. If I could afford it, I would probably be praying for one more try too...
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